ANAT

“I grew up with all the stories of the pioneers, the beautiful soldiers. It made me feel very proud to be part of this land. But today I cry when I see the Israeli flag. I ask myself: Why did Israeli history teach us that in 1948 there was nothing on this land, only sand? Why didn’t they tell us that there was a Palestinian nation living here? I am no longer proud to be part of this land. I will be proud of this land again when Israel starts teaching our true history. That is what Zionism is to me.

It was a terrible, slow process to have the myth I grew up with shattered.
But that’s what happened when I learned more about our history and
my Arab colleagues. Now, I understand the consequences of a Jewish homeland – that there are anti-democratic laws, that there are racist laws, that there are different laws for Jews and Palestinians. I am ready to accept living in a smaller country – as long as it is one that is righteous and not a land of blood and tears, but a place where I can live in peace and quiet.

Only six months ago, I worked for peace like a lioness. But now I am in such despair over the situation here that I barely leave my house. These days, when I talk of peace, I am not talking of an ideology, but of Israel’s survival. Nothing will stop the Palestinians from fighting for their homeland, just like nothing stopped us for 2000 years when we wanted a homeland.

I am not naïve. I do not want to leave here and go back to Germany. Both sides must give up some of their dreams for this land. But I am not going anywhere. I am part of this place and part of its tragedy.”